Workplace Ideals
Special Notice
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If you are neurodivergent, it is possible that you have never experienced respect for your neurodivergent traits in your entire life. Here is what inclusion and respect looks like. When it is safe to do so, you can teach others how to respect you because you will know what it looks like.
When Is It Safe?
Supporting accessibility in a time with limited education on the topic requires a skilled leader to navigate effectively. A good leader is able to work with you on your barriers, even though they have no prior training or institutional mandate to support you.
Below are examples of green flags1 to look for in a leader before deciding to reach out for their help (based on what you observe from them directly or based on what others report).
🟢 Green Flags 🟢
- They share as much information as possible
- Use their power mindfully and vigilantly
- Create conditions for motivation
- They seek to understand why something is successful as much as they look to understand why efforts were unsuccessful
- Emphasize the importance of personal responsibility
- Understand politics
Here are some red flags2 you should be weary of when disclosing to someone at work (based on what you observe from them directly or based on what others report).
🚩 Red Flags 🚩
- They share the minimum information they can get away with.
- Make you question/invalidate your perception of a situation (gaslighting).
- Share private information about colleagues and engage in gossip.
- This suggests that they may do the same to you.
- They may not treat your private medical information with the discretion it deserves.
- They struggle to regulate their emotions, including excessive empathy:
- If you share sensitive information, they may not have the mental control you need in an ally to come to a solution.
- Or they may form distorted memories of your interactions and, lacking institutional training on accessibility in case they have a sudden change in heart about how they feel about helping you, they may claim that you have approached them in an unprofessional manner which exceeds the scope of their responsibilities.
- Only care about understanding why an approach has failed.
- Are political.
- Use their power thoughtlessly or impulsively.
- Use pressure, fear, and power for motivation.
- They tolerate poor behavior if the outcome is productive.
- Afraid to lose their power.
- Struggle to say “no”.
- Leaders who do not have healthy boundaries are more likely to over-commit.
- When this happens they are likely to develop resentment towards the person they help.
- When they become overwhelmed, they may change their mind about what they committed to. You may not be able to rely on them to follow through.
- Even though they care and may accept to make reasonable adjustments, consider the long-term impact that asking for their help will have on your relationship.