Self-Advocating
Before we get into strategies, it’s important to recognize that being part of a minority group means that justice for our community depends on how we act around the majority. Unfortunately, if neurotypical people experience our dysregulation or irritability, they may bring that negative experience to their next encounter with a neurodivergent person’s request for accommodations.
When we go high, we honour our fellow community members. It is very hard to self-advocate to individuals who have had negative interactions with people with disabilities in the past. Do your best to pay it forward, whenever possible, because unfortunately the way you act will reflect how our community is seen and understood.
Neurotypical Apathy
Neurotypical people do not necessarily know the difference between someone who is oppressed, medically dysregulated because of predictable consequences from others versus an entitled crazy person. When they cannot recognize the difference or understand how they are responding unprofessionally to someone else’s valid version of normal, they may just shut down altogether and punish the person with disabilities because professional standards do not include an expectation that teaches us how to coexist with individuals who experience other realities.
They rarely know how they are causing it and how they are making it worse for everyone involved. This is called strategic ignorance.
Resources
Michelle Obama’s recent book is an important resource for neurominorities looking to learn how to carve their path (Obama 2022). In the first chapter of Michelle Obama’s book, she vividly portrays her father’s battle with multiple sclerosis (MS). She describes how his diagnosis changed their family dynamics and how he fiercely fought against the physical limitations imposed by the disease. Michelle reflects on her father’s resilience and the impact his illness had on shaping her perspective on life and determination to overcome challenges.
As the neurodivergent community asserts its identity, it is crucial for another marginalized community, which also grapples with discrimination and intergenerational trauma, to feel acknowledged and empowered to live on their own terms. Through stories like these, individuals can find avenues to feel validated and glean insights on navigating their unique experiences.
If reading is not the most accessible format, Netflix has also come out with a documentary discussing her book which is co-hosted by Oprah (Mendoza 2023).
How to Talk to A Chair (or Dean)
If you’re in a position to request something from a chair or dean, check out this resource so that you go in with the best shot you have of having your request approved.
Understanding Academic Urgency
The Reality of Academic Priorities
People in academia only act when things are very urgent. This isn’t personal—it’s structural. Behind every email a professor receives is a human being who wants a response, and they’re trying their best to treat everyone fairly within impossible constraints.
Professors typically receive 20-30 emails they need to address every single day. Anything non-urgent and not from their students or their boss goes directly into the “later” category, which they go through whenever they have time. Most professors maintain much longer email delays (sometimes several weeks or even months) than you might expect.
What This Means for You
When you need something time-sensitive (accommodation letters, reference letters, administrative approvals), you need to communicate the urgency explicitly and concisely.
Make it obvious.
How to Create Urgency Effectively
When you have a genuine deadline, frame your request like this:
“Sorry to bother you again, but I was wondering if you would be able to [specific request]? The issue is that I currently only have [specific timeframe] to [consequence if not resolved], so if [outcome needed], I will need [what you need from them].”
This approach:
- Acknowledges their time constraints
- States the specific ask
- Explains the actual consequence
- Makes it clear what you need to move forward
They will reply very quickly to genuinely urgent requests. The key is distinguishing between “I would like this soon” and “there is an actual deadline with real consequences.”
Strategies for Influencing
Many strategies are used to train decisionmakers to influence1 others.
Excuses Versus Explanations
- When you hit a barrier and require support, instead of saying “I cannot do X because I have Y condition”
- … train yourself to say “Because I have X, I can only do Y when Z.”
[M.]I.C.E.
We trust you to find the conventional techniques, but one lesser-known strategy called MICE (Money, Ideology, Compromise, and Ego) is used by certain branches of the military. This framework helps to jump between strategies and avoid trying the same thing and expecting a different result. Different instructors will respond to different strategies. In a non military setting we encourage you to go with ICE, as bribing your professors is ill-advised.
What Does ICE Mean Practically?
| ICE | Ideology, Compromise, and Ego |
|---|---|
| Ideology | Figure out what type of student your professor will value accommodating. * This tends to be the sort of student who has done the work and is not getting credit where it is due. * Try doing coursework ahead of time, over the summer, if you know you’ll need accommodations. * Demonstrate to the professor what you have done on the topic in alternative formats which were more accessible. |
| Compromise | * See if you can have your needs met with classic diplomacy strategies. |
| Ego | * Then, if all else fails, appeal to their ego; groveling |
These approaches are likely to be more successful, regardless of their personal opinion on supporting students with disabilities.
Important
- If your approach leans heavily on pleading rather than considering your own responsibility in prevention, efforts may not convey the intention of seeking fair adjustments but instead could be perceived as seeking undue favors. Personal responsibility is always relevant, but particularly when we ask for help.
- Aspies: Avoid Autistic meta-communication.
“When They Go Low, We Go High”
Popayán, Colombia (2018)
You will often find that going down without a fight also pays off in unexpected ways. Sometimes others feel guilty about turning down requests for accommodations (as they should because accommodations do protect your quality of life that others take for granted). If you are humble and calm throughout the process, they may go back on their decision and own up to their error in judgement.
It can be tempting to speak truth to power, but if you only experience marginalization through disability, you likely do not have the tools to survive that individuals of colour have developed over centuries. Though expressing your rage in the face of genuine injustice may be cathartic and produce heroic stories, the actual statistics on speaking truth to power in the vast majority of cases are neither typically effective, nor are they safe.
We know this in part because of work on the Holocaust where researchers found that the rates of Jews being sent to concentration camps were wildly affected by whether the local population went out of their way to help the Nazis or whether they kept to themselves. They found that not doing something that is clearly wrong is more effective than standing alone for something that is right.
What is effective? Finding allies.2